"That's Scott Caan!"

Star sightings in Manhattan are supposed to be the norm. They live here and so do you, it's going to happen. The ultimate question is what to do whenever you see one. Some people go to the extreme, as in accosting the celebrity, telling them how much they love them and their work, and then hating them for not carrying a sharpie on them so they could sign off on their grocery receipt. Some even go to the other route, and stalk the person. There's even a website who commits a Google map application to the whole thing (Gawker Stalker).

I saw Taylor Negron in the park on Friday. Mr. Negron of "Nothing But Trouble," and most notably "The Aristocrats," fame. My buddy Alex and I especially liked him in latter movie. His play on the joke was told as if he were describing what heaven looks like to a first-year catechism class. The delicate touch in his voice while explaining the twisted act can only be described as genius. I love when someone explains something truly horrific in a soft and sweet voice. It's like putting a cherry on top of your shit.

The sighting of Mr. Negron came as a surprise. I was taking a park detour on my way home and there was the celebrity, sitting on a bench. His hair was pulled back in a pony tail and he had on those sunglasses that look like two Sacajawea coins. I caught his gaze for a moment, and then looked beyond. But most of that moment I was shoving my voice back down into my throat, prohibiting it from yelling out, "Taylor Negron!?" Also in that moment, I thought I would say something like, "I loved you in 'The Aristocrats," but that sounded lame and passe. Ultimately, I walked by him, confident in the fact that I had probably done the right thing. Maybe he would welcome the attention, or maybe he was just trying to sit on a park bench and enjoy the day. In situations like these I think the most you should do is give a tip of the cap, some sort of non-verbal recognition if you think they deserve it, that shows you know.

Or maybe I should have yelled out his name. My friend Gui and I were in a bar in Austin, Texas called Red Fez. We were standing by the bar holding our drinks and admiring the view on the dance floor when a man in his late twenties, who was all of 5'6", came waltzing in with an entourage of guys. From my vantage point, I thought some high society douche bag had tried to come all grandiose and shit. I looked over at Gui to get some non-verbal approval, and he just yells out, "That's Scott Caan!" Scott Caan looked toward Gui and kept walking. Every time I think of that episode, I can't help but double-over and laugh. We all want to do it, yell out the name of someone that we saw in the movies or television as soon as we see them in our own reality. Gui just didn't hold back.