i should've entitled this piece double f, but lo que sea. so here's the backstory; my spanish is poor and my comprehension of the metric system is worse. the other night, we had a ton of extra folks at dinner, some of whom were real deal mayans. anyway, some wise guy asked me how tall i was during coffee. what ensued was a clusterfuck of times tables, spanish vocabulary and broken yardsticks unraveling in my head. somehow the atomic weight of aluminum got in there too, but it was in grams. so i just probably made a face like "i know other stuff," just not my own height. i felt like a real dunce. luckily somebody's uncle asked me to stand up and estimated dos metros. i had a chance later to sit down with a sliderule and came up with about 2.01 meters. it looks like tío suave was right on the money. anyway, i started thinking...and now i'm going to try to not get so annoyed when people ask how tall i am because they could be asking me how many hands i measure in some ancient celtic dialect. then, when i pause in a fit of perplexity with a ten pack of isotoners draped over myself, some filthy medieval scribe will ride up on a dwarf pony and bury a two sided axe into my forehead. "Too slow lad," he'd lament. the point is i've been putting off learning the metric system and it almost cost me my life. do you think they have over the counter medication for what i've got?
2 comments:
did you get an axe in your head because you took too long using isotoner gloves in your attempt at calculating how many hands you were?
signed,
confused in nyc
no, i got double axed for fistf!!king your abdomen after i impaled you with a garden gnome smartguy. {those kinda things are frowned upon down here}
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